“Tori let’s build a sand castle!” Sean said excitedly but I sat in the sand, watching the waves as they came in and out. “Tor?” He asked, wondering why I was ignoring him.
“Oh, Sean. Sorry. I—I think I should get going home. You should to.” I told him and got up.
“But we just got here,”
“So? Maybe I’m getting cold. Let’s go, you could walk me home,”
“No Tori, I will not walk you home. How come you always do this to me? You ignore me for a few minutes and then suddenly have an urge to leave? Huh?”
“Sean, I just want to go home sometimes,”
“Well you could tell me and then you won’t have to make stupid excuses up, Tor.” He told me and kicked his sand castle over. I looked at him, sorry. He was right, I always push people away.
But, pushing people away, It wasn’t such a good idea.
Now, every day I wait at home for Laura to come back so I can at least talk to somebody. I decided not to go to college, to stay living with my Nana and relax – because my life is not going to change.
:D Hey, I hope people are reading this :D. Mee!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading this! ^_^ Saw your preview on sims2 and I decided to check it out. -BaileyKRD1 from Sims2
ReplyDeleteThis is from AmyBlueSims2 from : http://bbs.thesims2.ea.com/community/bbs/messages.php?&openItemID=&threadID=2827450f08dcf3d843d288198164bc1c&directoryID=2&startRow=1
ReplyDeleteDoes it have potential?
With only three slides I think it might be a bit to soon to tell.
Did you like it?
Personally when it comes to exchange stories I don't read anything that doesn't have a prologue of around twenty slides and chapters of over thirty. Even though I know it was a preview it wasn't for me size wise. Previews are fine for chapters of stories you already have out but when starting something new I think you either have to give up a hefty amount in order to connect with readers or wait until the whole thing is complete. It's all about developing your plot, characters and overall story and not rushing to show something.
What about the pictures?
I'm not really sure what response you want to them. I don't really pay that much attention to the pictures unless I'm scouting for CC
Do you like the whole plot?
At this moment in time I have no idea what the plot is.
What do you think the climax will be?
At this point I have no clue.
Did I pick the characters good?
I'm not sure what you mean by this, but with only a few hundred words and vague hinting it is difficult to connect with the characters. Basically as I've said above, its a fair bit to soon to tell. Why not aim to write X amount of words and then share the more detailed version.
Anyway hopefully I didn't come across as mean. Be careful with spellings like to/too and using words like "but" where "while" or "whilst" would suffice. I wish you all the best with this story and more importantly I hope you really enjoy writing and creating it.
THanks guys, hope you liked it :).
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